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Author Topic:  Funny Sh#t.  (Read 12211 times)

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Offline millzee

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #50 on: January 30, 2015, 08:40:12 AM »
More like "Cool shit".  I found Tommy's new place thumbsup
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"Go Hard for Fun"
Trucks, Cars, Boats, choppers and crashed planes.
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Offline bajabrad

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #51 on: January 30, 2015, 09:12:02 AM »

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More like "Cool shit".  I found Tommy's new place thumbsup
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Pffffffftttt!!! That's just Tommy's bathroom!!

Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #52 on: June 08, 2015, 08:03:50 PM »
New compulsory safety equipment that I had to not only purchase (it also came with a ring binder) But then pay a yearly fee to 'keep updated'

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1lma00! ...I fcKn shit you not.......I couldn't make this shit up 1lma00! 1lma00!

If the the 'general public'  havnt noticed the working chainsaw/weedeater/hedge trimmer/lawn mower or the bald,skinny,tattooed,singing (I'm FCKN orsum headbang and LOUD) chap operating said equipment I fail to see how the orange cone will help dontknow .....2 choices I reckon
1- wear it as a hat  2- throw it at people

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Offline rx2_freak

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #53 on: June 08, 2015, 08:13:31 PM »
or use as a megaphone *rofl*

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« Last Edit: June 08, 2015, 08:15:21 PM by rx2_freak »

Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #54 on: June 08, 2015, 08:22:05 PM »
I will say this....hats off to the guy importing the $2 chinese cones,Printing some generic shit off the interweb and not only f*&*^*% me once but yearly....bravo sir,well played clap1 *rofl*
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Offline Baja Dan

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #55 on: June 08, 2015, 08:46:38 PM »
Just wait until they start needing to do monthly/bi-monthly/quarterly/half yearly/annual/bi-annual inspections on your safety equipment.

Don't laugh it does happen! Technically speaking under the new WHS requirement on businesses here, if a staff member farts whilst on the job he/she will need to complete a uncontrolled escape of gas incident notification.

All true, look it up!


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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #56 on: June 08, 2015, 09:03:38 PM »
And that's the problem with the world today....OSH...keeping stupid people alive and employed *rofl* life should be a little bit dangerous and there should be repercussions when you Fck up headbang kills/maims the stupid and ignorant and keeps the not so silly on their toes !woohoo!
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Offline Baja Dan

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #57 on: June 08, 2015, 09:10:01 PM »
its called natural selection, keeping the rejects out of the gene pool of life.
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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #58 on: August 17, 2015, 01:01:15 PM »
Doing a quote today......

Dumb Lady "do you use a lawn mower?"

Mr Green "no I have a team of highly trained attack goats in the trailer....goat team 6"

Dumb Lady "really"

Mr Green "I used to use sheep but once they formed their own Union their wage demands just got ridiculous"
......my work here is done 1lma00!
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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #59 on: August 17, 2015, 02:44:21 PM »
To be fair it was never really going to go any other way as the first conversation I had with her....

Ring ring

'Can you quote my lawn'
'Certainly can,what's your address?'
'Can't you do it over the phone?'
'...........really need to see it to quote it'
'Why?'

1lma00!
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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #60 on: February 28, 2016, 06:59:46 AM »
She wants me to go to an open home today.....Ive said to her at least a billion times not fckn interested in open homes till the house is sold,FS it doesn't even go on the market till next week bang head *rofl* .....so she's started with the nag,winge,bleet,moan cause it's the 1 apparently and I'll love it and more fckn blah blah *rofl*

'Fine.....under 1 condition'
'Yep....no worries'
'I will meet you there,we will look separately and pretend not to know each other and when I've found the right spot I will grab you and we will have filthy stranger sex in the open home'
'YOU WILL NOT....'
'Gotta go,text me time and place.....and wear something very prim and proper as I like hammering good girls'

1lma00!

Fck I'm gonna have fun today.....I will terrorise her the entire time....f*** might even get dirty stranger sex !woohoo!
« Last Edit: February 28, 2016, 07:01:42 AM by nz420 »
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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #61 on: February 28, 2016, 07:17:45 AM »
Got the disguise sorted,just need a wig and some mirrored aviators.....

Today I will be 'Sam Smasher.......professional race car driver/stuntman'

....well hello to you to madam.....I noticed your name was Samantha....wanna be smashed by the smasher

1lma00!
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Offline Novice

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #62 on: February 28, 2016, 09:04:56 AM »
Did she say she was dressing up to look like your favourite sheep or something? 1oops1

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #63 on: February 28, 2016, 11:57:49 AM »
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Did she say she was dressing up to look like your favourite sheep or something? 1oops1

Stupid osstrayan....why would I get my wife to dress up as my mistress ^screwy*

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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #64 on: February 28, 2016, 12:15:42 PM »
Fckn wife must be part osstrayan to.....the smasher was not impressed.....the day she said she wanted a new house I said that's fine I need 2 things,just 2 things -seperate dbl garage and drive on section with parking other than that use your brain and find something a bit special.......

........drove up the driveway....thn backed out and went to McDonald's......newish spec house in a flash suburb,full of complaining self important special people who don't like rc's,motorbikes or being told to fck off *rofl*.....with no off street parking and a small attached garage *rofl*

I know she earns all the money,pretty much lets me be me and is super orsum but ffs...typical corporate jammed inside the box thinking...see's a pretty picture and not much else...ffs lady go a bit crazy,have some fun.....

*angry*

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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #65 on: February 28, 2016, 12:22:54 PM »
Then against my better judgement I get home jump on the interweb to show her a few different ideas......and there it is *rofl* .....it's so fckn outside the box that.....I think it's fckn PERFECT bang head *rofl*

.......now the fun starts,I've called the committee to a strategy meeting......we need a plan of attack...

If I pull this off I will fckn change my name to Sam Smasher *rofl*
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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #66 on: February 28, 2016, 12:32:06 PM »
It's gotta be a plan like no other......

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1lma00! headbang
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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #67 on: March 03, 2016, 05:38:24 PM »
......you think that's bad wait till you check out the lounge....

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1lma00!
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Offline jimmykl

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #68 on: March 03, 2016, 09:36:20 PM »
Dude 1964 rang they want there carpet  and state of the art home entertainment unit back please 😲😲

Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #69 on: March 04, 2016, 11:29:08 AM »
That is all pure 70's and its orsum *rofl* .....gets worse....

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1lma00!

.....put an offer in yesterday *rofl*
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Offline Baja Dan

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #70 on: March 04, 2016, 01:46:40 PM »
Was it in 70's money...


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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #71 on: March 04, 2016, 02:21:38 PM »
I think all the 70's money was spent on 70's drugs which were consumed by the person that did the interior *rofl*

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Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #72 on: March 10, 2016, 07:20:02 PM »
.....conditional offer has been accepted bang head 1lma00!

Now I just hope the few bits of shit to sort go thru without a hassle.....now I know it needs a bit of work,as in a complete new fckn inside *rofl*

But the view is quite pleasant.....

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The double garage isn't separate......

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...and the other isn't quite a double.....but is fully self contained....

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thumbsup
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Offline jimmykl

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #73 on: March 10, 2016, 08:25:20 PM »
Dude that's one massive man shed I'm jealous and slap down some 70's shagg pile in the house is all you need to do and it'll be fine , I can see the fondu  key party's happening already mate. 😂😂😂

Offline nz420

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Re: Funny Sh#t.
« Reply #74 on: March 10, 2016, 08:41:18 PM »
.....I suggested starting a *&^% co. specialising in 70's p*&^ called 'hairy bush inc' but my idea wasn't received very well *rofl* .....so I (hopefully bang head ) will be doing another interior....but fck it,worth the pain I reckon headbang

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